What is the Pillars // Parents Project?
"Demographics" are at the core of many major news stories. Stories about immigration, economic growth, religion, rising prices, social security, international relations, and many other topics are heavily influenced by the number of children families are having. Historically, there was much hand-wringing in media about out-of-control population growth. But nowadays, you will find many more stories lamenting declining birth rates. We decided to investigate this issue at the local, individual level, by speaking to the people who are connected to this story in the deepest way: parents. By writing about parents in our communities — people who thanklessly undertake the essential, difficult, decades-long job of creating and raising the next generation — we can recognize them and add their stories to the public record. These "ordinary" people seldom get recognized by media!
By Brooklyn Bader
Jennifer Jenkins is a woman who dreamed of getting her degree, finding her husband, and starting a family. Jennifer pursued her dream of earning a college degree and found her now-husband, Michael Jenkins, along the way. When they were ready to settle down and start a family, it was disrupted in a way they could never have fathomed, and in a way that is rapidly increasing and affecting families globally.
Infertility is a major issue that is often overlooked. According to the World Health Organization, at least 1 in 6 people experience infertility at some point in their lives. Men and women can both experience infertility issues, which affects couples trying to build their families. Jennifer Jenkins and her husband, Michael Jenkins, were among the couples who had to go through this hardship.
This story is one of faith, family, resilience, strength, and determination.
It was spring of 2021 in Lexington, Kentucky. Jennifer and Michael wanted to start growing their family.
“I had been working for about a year, and we went to a religious meeting, and I had just gotten a feeling that we needed to start having kids,” Jennifer said. “We had been praying about it, and it felt like the right time.” Over the next year, they had no success in their efforts to get pregnant. To their dismay, they had fertility issues.
Jennifer had been working for a company by the name of Valvoline at the time, and a miracle was just in reach. “Valvoline global operations was one of the few companies that I've ever heard of that has a fertility program,” Jennifer explained. “They had a full contract with insurance that would pay for a full round of IVF and medications.”
In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is a medical procedure that helps people conceive using the man's sperm and the woman's eggs and fertilizing them in a lab. A very medically complex process.
Their process began with Intrauterine insemination (IUI), which is separate from IVF. Jennifer and Michael wanted to start on a smaller, more affordable route. This process happens inside the woman's body, as opposed to IVF, which is done in a lab. This, however, was sadly unsuccessful for the couple. After IUI was unsuccessful, the couple met with an IVF specialist to begin their IVF journey. “So about 5 months later, after the insurance approval process, we are finally on the road to start the medications,” Jennifer said. “I was giving myself three shots a day for 10 days on top of medication."
“I started administering the shots, but we noticed that it wasn't practical,” Michael said. “So Jen came up with the idea of distracting her.” Michael would dance around and sing for Jennifer to distract her as she would self-administer these shots that were crucial for IVF. The shots help each egg grow.
They were finally able to begin the embryo process. The first embryo was implanted, but sadly failed. They then implanted the next embryo, resulting in a successful pregnancy and the birth of Jennifer and Michael's miracle baby, Alexander.
“Just to watch her and Michael’s perseverance to go through it not just once but twice, and to see their dedication to bringing in a child into this world,” Leann exclaimed. “I was so proud of my daughter.”
“I’ve said lots of prayers along this journey, especially in picking my undergrad,” Jennifer said, “and the only job that would pay for IVF was the one that I got, and there's no way we could've afforded that on our own.” “Praying led to chemical engineering, and that led to my job, which led to Alexander.”
Jennifer's mom, Leann Robinson, had also experienced infertility and coached and supported her daughter throughout the whole thing. “I helped her gain perspective that she wasn’t alone,” Leann explained. “There are millions of people that experience infertility.”
Jennifer went to college to pursue an undergraduate degree in chemical engineering, which was not her dream major to pursue. However, that's what she felt led to pursue after much prayer. Her whole childhood, Jennifer loved the weather. “When I was three years old, I would turn on the weather channel,” Jennifer said, “I didn’t want to watch Barney or Blues Clues, I wanted to watch the weather channel.”
“I grew up in the Deep South, and so we would get hurricanes all the time and be without power for days,” Jennifer explained, “and my parents would talk about the weather and the hurricane coming through and how we could help the community afterward, and I just thought it was the coolest thing.”
Jennifer began her undergraduate degree in chemical engineering in the fall of 2016, during which she met her husband, Michael. “The first time I gave my now husband a hug,” Jennifer said with a smile, “it felt like home.”
Jennifer explained how much marriage has changed her life for the better. “I saw myself grow into a much better person with deeper emotions and a deeper personality,” Jennifer explained. “There's something about focusing on someone else's needs that really opens you to a greater sense of love. I found a deeper love for someone, for my husband, and at the same time, I found a deeper love for myself, because he saw someone that I was becoming and he’s always encouraging me to be better. That is why I am getting my master's currently and hopefully a PhD as well.”
Jennifer is currently pursuing a master's in meteorology at Mississippi State University while raising a 1-year-old son. This, however, was not in their direct plans after having Alexander.
“Since it took us so long to have Alexander, it did time out perfectly, but it wasn’t in our direct plans,” Jennifer explained, “Michael got a job at Mississippi State, and I got put on maternity leave right as we were packing to leave.”
“I’m not a person who can just stay at home, I need something to do, I need something externally fulfilling,” Jennifer explained calmly. “We discovered, after my husband got his job, that Mississippi State had a meteorology program, and it all fell into place,” Jennifer said. “My husband jokes that we got here not because he needed a job but because I needed to go through the meteorology program.”
How can someone juggle being a mom, a wife, and a full-time student? “I have a great husband who helps make it all work, and we have a way to work through it,” Jennifer said. “It's a constant conversation to work through it all together while I am working and she is at school, and he is at daycare, since we don’t want that to be our only option,” Michael explained.
Jennifer Jenkins and Michael Jenkins experienced the hardship of infertility, but through faith, determination, love, and strength, they made it through together successfully. Michael is a professor at Mississippi State University, and Jennifer is a Graduate student pursuing her dream degree in meteorology, all while they raise their blessing of a son, Alexander