What is the Pillars // Parents Project?
"Demographics" are at the core of many major news stories. Stories about immigration, economic growth, religion, rising prices, social security, international relations, and many other topics are heavily influenced by the number of children families are having. Historically, there was much hand-wringing in media about out-of-control population growth. But nowadays, you will find many more stories lamenting declining birth rates. We decided to investigate this issue at the local, individual level, by speaking to the people who are connected to this story in the deepest way: parents. By writing about parents in our communities — people who thanklessly undertake the essential, difficult, decades-long job of creating and raising the next generation — we can recognize them and add their stories to the public record. These "ordinary" people seldom get recognized by media!
By Mark Cox
Birthrates are plummeting around the globe, with few exceptions. Many are focused on the ‘why,’ but few are focused on ‘how’ to return. Jason Cruise argues that we have lost sight of the true prize. He believes that the joy of investing in our children far outweighs any burdens of parenthood.
Who is Jason Cruise?
Jason Cruise grew up in a small town in middle Tennessee called Tullahoma, close to Lynchburg. He and his wife, Michelle, have two boys, Cole (21) and Tucker (15). He has spent most of his life in Tennessee, other than his undergraduate and graduate education. He now works for O.F. Mossberg and Sons, a firearms manufacturer, as a writer and videographer, as well as the host of Mossberg’s Rugged American Hunter. He is also well known as a published author and public speaker.
His father, a PGA golf pro, struggled with alcoholism most of his life. He recalls living his father’s struggle with alcoholism and eventually seeing him overcome it. He said that experiencing this struggle early in life helped him understand that “…good people get in really bad situations sometimes.” Even through this struggle, Cruise says his father was a great dad. By others’ standards, his father would likely have been considered a bad role model, but Cruise focuses on the ways his father succeeded as a dad and the kind of person he truly was, aside from his flaws. “My dad was the strongest man I knew… There was never a time. ever, ever, ever, ever. … when I feared any man or any situation when my daddy was around, and that doesn't mean that my daddy was, you know, the ultimate ninja warrior. It just meant that… you know, he was invincible… and he always knew what to do, always. You know, and he wasn't loud. He wasn't arrogant at all.” These qualities in his dad helped shape the way Jason Cruise raises his own children today and how the joy of being a father has impacted his life.
A career in the outdoor industry, travelling the country, hunting, and filming sounds perfect to many, but it comes with struggles, especially at home. Cruise said that he does not travel as much as most people think, because he values his family over his career. He said, “…a large portion of men in the hunting industry are on their second, third, and even fourth marriage, and I just wasn’t going to do that… It was too important to me to be a good father.” Jason said his favorite part of being a father is the “…intentionality of it…”. He spends a lot of time with his two sons, and now that they are older, they do more fun things together, like travelling or working on projects. Jason said he loves to use these times spent together to emphasize what he calls “coachable moments." He said he loves to find these moments in everyday activities, and he enjoys preparing his sons to face the world. Cole, his oldest son, said: “One thing my dad taught me growing up was that nobody owes me anything. Entitlement in our house was not an option.”
As a prominent figure in the hunting industry, I was curious if combining his livelihood and love for the outdoors with his children gave him a sense of purpose. Cruise said that what he has been able to do through the hunting industry is help move the kingdom of God forward. He emphasized that he never forced his children to go hunting, but he tried to make the outdoors fun. He said, “I tried to use the outdoors as just another place to spend a lot of time with them.”
Cruise also emphasized how, when he went hunting with his children, it was no longer about the success or the story for a T.V. show. It was about the experience and allowing his children to have fun. He recalled a story of the first turkey that he and his oldest son, Cole, harvested together. The two were closing in on a turkey in a pasture, and they had to cross a creek to close the distance. “Can I stop and throw some rocks in this creek?” Cole asked. Jason’s reaction at first was to stop the ruckus before it took place, but he thought for a second, “…well, he's going to throw these rocks in this creek, and it's shallow, and they're going to bang and clang, and I mean, it's over. And this bird is very killable.” But putting his child’s fun first, Jason caved. “…sure, buddy, go ahead.” Cole, of course, obliged and threw a few rocks in the creek, and it was loud, plenty loud enough to scare the turkey away. The two continued on their hunt, Jason recalled, “… we go on up there and sit down, and I hit my box call, and the bird gobbled… and we killed it… and it was just such a great reminder to me of like, just like make the whole thing fun, you know?” He continued: “I think for me that those moments have been just as good for me as they ever were for my boys.”
He also focused on the importance of being a good role model for his sons. He explained that boys naturally want to be like their fathers because they admire them, so it is important to set a positive example. “I think a boy does the things his daddy does at least early on. My dad was a PGA golf pro. I wanted to play golf. My daddy hunted. I wanted to hunt. I wanted to be like my dad... And so, I think you want to be like your dad.” He said the difficult part about this is setting an example, while also wanting your children to have their own sense of identity. He never wanted his children to feel pressured into being good at something just because he was.
Jason believes it is important for men to leave a legacy, but not in the way most people think. He doesn’t mean through fame or wealth. He believes the best way to leave a legacy is to have children and raise them to be good people. He refers to God’s commandment to “be fruitful and multiply”, and he said, “The world needs men. The world desperately, desperately needs men badly.”
He feels that it is important for him to leave a legacy by raising his sons to be good men and great leaders. He said that having children changed his viewpoint on his legacy. Before fatherhood, he was focused on his own legacy and future, but after having children, he says he became more concerned with their futures and prioritized giving them the tools to build their own futures and grow independently. He believes the effects of raising great men and leaders go beyond family, and they trickle into society, improving it.
In a time when many young adults delay marriage and avoid having children due to fear, Jason Cruise believes the joy of being a parent and coaching your children through life is greater than any of the obstacles that come with it. “There is nothing like it,” he said, “…the only bad part of parenting that I have experienced is the fact that they leave.” When reflecting on his life as a parent, Cruise admits that raising children is difficult and full of challenges, but his advice issimple: “Have kids. Have a bunch of ‘em.”